Christmas Eve...

so here we are.. Christmas Eve 2008! as of now im sitting here at work watching the clock NOT move! we have no work to do and im wondering why we're even here! oh well.. paycheck baby! haha. im very excited about this Christmas weekend! i love love love being with family and spending time together. i wish everyday was Christmas! Tomorrow we will be going to Bart's moms house to have dinner and open lots of gifts! woohoo! i dont know if im more excited about eating his moms cooking or the gifts.. both will be great! for the past 11 years Bart and I have taken all the neices and nephews to the movies on Christmas night. there's usually about 15 of us that go and we love it! Bart has a huge family so it's a lot of fun and we take up an entire row at the movies! Traditionally my family (my moms side) has Christmas on Christmas Eve but this year we have planned something totally new! We will be having Christmas the day after Christmas! 1st time in 32 years... or more! My family will be coming to my house and we will all be cooking a Christmas breakfast for dinner! fun and different! im looking forward to it! well i wish everyone a Merry Christmas and God bless you all... until next time...

My Pink Tree!

so this is our tree! yes it's pink! pink is my favorite color! this is by far my favorite tree out of all my past tree's! :)

Caleb meets Santa!

Today me and my sister took my 3 year old nephew to see Santa at Barts work. it was a lot of fun! all of Barts work friends loved Caleb and they all gave him candy! it's always a treat to visit Bart at State Farm! :)

Go Michelle!!

so me and bart are die hard Biggest Loser fans! i was so thrilled when Michelle won! Vicki was a complete jerk then entire time and Heba and Ed were just as cruel as Vicki but were at least smart enough to try and hide it! the girl with the biggest heart was the biggest loser! Go black team! Go Michelle! until next time...

Born to be a Hick!

ok so, The Country Christmas play has come and gone. let me just start off by saying i absolutely had a blast playing a hick! me and Amy got to be hicks from the sticks! this was the funnest thing ever! we wrote our own lines and rehearsed for days! every time me and Amy got together to practice, we died laughing at each other and ourselves! we just kept coming up with new lines all the time! i dont even know how many times we changed our lines.. even up to the night of the play! it was so fun! i love laughing and making others laugh! i'll pretty much do anything and make myself look stupid just to make others laugh and Amy is the same way so we make a great team! Good job AmyLou! i watched HeeHaw growing up so i was thrilled when i found out that me and Amy were gonna be the HeeHaw girls! im kinda sad now that it's over. i honestly think i was born to be a hick! until next time...

a simple smile...

can you really smile when you're sad? new years eve will mark the 3 year anniversary of my moms death. im still just as crushed and heart broken as i was the night i watched her take her last breath and leave this earth. you don't "get over it"! it does'nt work that way. i was forced to wake up each day knowing i would never see her again as long as im on earth and that's not easy! it flat out sucks! i hate it! i just want to scream. but that does'nt help. i've tried.
i grew up in a christian home with great parents who loved each other. me and my sister were raised by parents who were not only just "church go-ers" but were servants as well. my mom was one of those ladies who pretty much did everything. she had a heart for children and taught sunday school for many years and lead worship in the church. as i watched her i never understood how she could be so involved with everything and still find time to be such a wonderful mother to me and cassie. but she did it! she was amazing! she never missed one of my sporting events and was just simply always there!
i am my mothers child. now that im getting older people tell me all the time how i look just like my mom! sometimes i catch my grandpa staring at me and i can just see the sadness in his eyes because i remind him so much of my mom. i see my dad looking at my hands just to have that little reminder of how my mom looked. i have her hands. sometimes when i laugh i hear her laughter in me. we used to laugh all the time! that makes me smile. and of course, when im playing softball and look down at my calves i see my moms legs! no joke.. lol! sometimes i just stare in the mirror and see Kathy Lee looking right back at me! crazy i know...
3 years ago today... it was exactly one week before Christmas and my mom had'nt been able to do any shopping because she was'nt feeling good. being the determined woman she was, she insisted that she Christmas shopped no matter how bad she felt. she said as long as she was breathing she was going to "live"! dad drove her into bakersfield and i met them at Kohls. dad brought her a wheelchair because she was too weak to walk and shop. i pushed her around that store a hundred times it seemed! even in her weakness she managed to make me laugh the entire time and we had a blast! i quickly learned that day that i was not exactly and expert at pushing people in wheelchairs. i think i ran that stinkin wheelchair into everything and everyone that was within 9 feet of us! it was kinda funny now that i think about it! mom my saw some friends of hers and as we stood in the middle of the store pretty much taking up the entire isle, my mom assured her friends that she could walk but she was just in a wheelchair because she was weak. i guess she was a little worried of what people were thinking. me and mom loaded that wheelchair up with so many gifts! by the time we were halfway done shopping, i couldnt even see my mom anymore under all the gifts! it was awesome! :) i pushed her to the check out stand and we unloaded and asked them to hold everything while we continued to shop some more. we were finally done and dad paid the bill. normally dad would have flipped by the amount that my mom was spending but this day money did'nt matter.
when mom and dad got home (back in wasco) my phone rang. it was my mom. she was crying and said that the house had been robbed. my mom had left her purse at home because she didnt need to have it since dad was taking care of everything and the theifs took her purse along with several other things in the house. i couldnt believe it! i was so mad! really? God is there some reason this is happening to us? i thought...
Christmas Eve... we spent Christmas Eve at Cassie's house. i got to Cassie's early to help her with a few things to get ready for the family to show up. i saw out the window that my mom and dad were pulling up. i watched as my dad helped her out of the car and into the wheelchair once again. it made me sad. we all ate and opened gifts and tried to act as if nothing was wrong but in the back of my mind i knew this could be my last Christmas with my mom.
New Years Eve... we took my mom to the hospital the night before New Years Eve. things were not looking good. the next morning her doctor came to the room and talked with me, Cassie and mom. he explained to us that there was nothing else they could do. he then went on to explain what would happen to her body as she would slowly fade away. as he was telling us in detail how her body soon die, i was in disbelief. he couldnt have been more plain or more direct. i actually let the words go in one ear and out the other because i knew God was going to heal her so the whole "dying" process was unnecessary for me to know.
Party's... i called our youth staff and explained that me and Bart would not be at the party that we had been planning for weeks! i wouldnt leave my moms side. normally mom would have said, no go to the party and dont miss a thing! but i think she must have known that God was calling her home. we stayed by her side. different family members and friends came by to see her throughout the day. we said what was going to be our last prayer with mom at about 8:00pm. i saw my tears fall on her hand and even onto her wedding ring. her nails were so pretty. as she felt the tears fall on her she looked at me and said, im gonna be okay Lori. She never called me Lori. She always called me by my nickname Loco so i knew what she was saying to me in that moment. soon after we prayed i never heard another word from her. she was sleeping as we all just sad around her bed in the small hospital room and talked. me, Bart and Cassie left the room to get a snack. when we got back to the 3rd floor we just sat outside the room in the hallway on the floor and talked. it seemed as if the hospital was completely empty. it was quiet and hardly a soul in sight. At 9:00pm the Rammings called my cell phone to check and me and bart. i told them everything seemed to be going okay. we had a short conversation and hung up. at 10:00pm my dad and his 2 brothers stepped out of my moms room into the hallway. my dad called for a nurse for a check up. we all stood in the hall and waited. the nurse came out of the room after checking my mom and came straight to me. she said quietly to me, "your mom is taking her last breaths". she said it so calm and gentle. i wasnt sure of what she said and i asked her to repeat herself. again she said, "your mom is taking her last breaths". i got dad and Cassie and we walked in the room. Cassie stood on the left side of dad and i stood on the right. mom was on her side facing us. she was fading fast. it was nothing i had ever expected. it was nothing like in the movies! it was scary and sad! i watched her gasp one last breath and then i burried my face in my dads side. he was wearing a long sleeve blue button up shirt. it was soon soaked with me and my sisters tears. i took one more look thinking it was all over when i saw her breath her very last breath of air. it was over. my dad said, she's gone. and then wept as he held me and cassie so tight in his arms that it began to hurt. she died at 10:14pm
its been very hard without my mom. i miss her so much. i need her. the past 3 years have been so hard. there are so many things i could share but it would take so long. i will write about some of them soon. i know this is sad. i love to be cheerful and upbeat and make everyone laugh but this is my life too. i dont mean to bumm you out but this actually helps me. everyone grieves in different ways, this is how i grieve. i talk about it.
so the question is, can you smile when your sad? the answer; yes. you can smile when your sad. when you have God in your life nothing can take the joy that is deep within your soul. oh yeah, you get mad, hurt, angry, ticked off and want to turn to anything in this world to take your mind off of reality but then you stop and simply realize that God is the answer! it is a joy that is hard to even fathom. i think i'll stop for now then share more later.. there is so much more.. until next time... thanks for reading.

LOVIN' IT!

well it's almost the weekend! *YaY*! im really excited about everything right now! although i've felt pressure and had to deal with a few annoying people this week, everything seems to be going great! Generation Youth was awesome Tuesday night and the jr high service last night was a blast as always! i've been jammed packed all week and it's finally Thursday! but this is no time for a slow down for me at all! the christmas play is Sunday night! today i'll be going straight to Amy's house after work and then we are off to find costumes! we have to look "country", like HeeHaw country!! nice! then it's back to her house to practice our lines before rehearsal tonight at the church. oh and between all that we have to go meet this guy at his house to give him an estimate on doing some work! im in the beginning stages of forgetting what my own house looks like this week. i found out last night that we are having a big party at my house tomorrow night and i have to cook speghetti. woohoo! im pretty sure im gonna have to find time to clear up all the boxes and messes i made from decorating my tree (last Sunday) before everyone comes over! so, if ya have nothing to do tomorrow night come on over! :) no special occasion. just friends hanging out and having a good time... see ya soon!

MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

ok, so i know i have'nt blogged in a long time so to all my fans, i appologise (gayle) :).. lol! jk! anyways, i've been kinda busy lately but having lots of fun! thanksgiving was great! i loved being with my family. i spent they day with bart's family and his mom made my favorite dessert ever! it's called delicious pie! then we went to my sisters and had a great dinner. as we sat around the beautifully decorated dinner table and had wonderful "family time" i couldnt help but have a heavy heart as i thought about the one seat that was empty next to my dad. im so thankful for the 29 thanksgivings i was able to spend with my mom. i miss her so much! it's hard this time of year not having her here! it's hard any time of year...!
well this week is crunch week for me. the church christmas play is this sunday night and im so excited! our play is called "a country christmas". im lovin' it cause me and my best friend amy have a part in it together. we even got to write our own lines! me and bart have been at the church more than at home these past few weeks. we're having a great time! it's a lot of fun hanging out with our youth kids and church family. i started putting up the tree on saturday and finally finished it sunday night. between softball games, music practice, generation youth, awakening youth, filming, editing, writing lines, play practice and work, i've seemed to have gotten a little behind in my decorating! =/ bart does'nt know this yet but he's putting up the lights this weekend!!! thats another whole issue itself that im sure i'll be able to blog about after the fact! lol. well i think i'll get back to memorizing my lines again while im here at work! until next time...

FAKED OUT BY A FLY!

so i'm sitting here at work in the same spot i've been in for the last 40 minutes. when i got here and sat at the computer i noticed a fly on the desk. no big deal i thought. it's just a fly and it's not bothering me so why should i bother it? right? side note: too many times we shew flys away when they really havent even bothered us yet.. (i call it premature shewing)! moving on... 40 minutes later i noticed the fly hasnt moved an inch.. i thought to myself, do flys sleep? is this fly ok? so in my own curiousity i decided to see what was up with this fly. i got closer to it and noticed it wasnt planning on going anywhere anytime soon. poor fly was dead. i dont know about you but the last time i checked, flys laid on their backs with there legs straight in the air when they were dead. this fly totally fooled me! it faked me out! it was dead all along.. well im not planning a funeral for the thing or anything.. besides, i already flicked it off the desk and the next place it will end up is in the vacuum cleaner i suppose... maybe i'll find some work to do now.. perhaps vacuum?? until next time...

so this is my favorite show of all time. i watched the Brady's pretty much all my life until just a couple years ago when they stopped showing it! :( if they had a Brady Trivia game, i would win! i've seen every episode and i know everything there is to know about every Brady! sometimes i wish i were a Brady! sometimes i wonder which Brady i'm more like. it's hard to decide because sometimes i have my Marsha days (especially now that my hair is growing long) and i love to wear short dresses and high shoes! then there are the Jan days which i rarely have because i don't see myself as a boring chick with no personality who gets on the entire families nerves.. (or maybe i do???). moving on, next there's Cindy! i think i can actually relate to her the most! im the baby of the family and always get my way! i USED TO BE a tattle tell and a snitch but that was back i the day when i would actually make up stories to tell on my sister just to watch her get in trouble! wow i was a brat! i love all the Brady's and maybe someday they'll bring there show back on! guess i'll stick to Hannah Montana for now! until next time...

Hight Family Photo Day!

so this is some of my family! today was "Hight family photo day"! I married into this family over 11 years ago. Bart has an amazing family! he has 5 brothers and 1 sister and lots of nieces and a nephew. im so blessed to be a part of this family!

Lazy Winter??

so it's time for the seasons to change and for our clocks to fall back. i love these days. i love the extra hour of sleep and the cold mornings under my down comforter. i love sitting on the couch by the fire with a good book and a Dr. Pepper! :) this winter season is going to full of exciting things for Bart and I. im so ready to take it all on! after being on a year long "time off" i've realized that taking time off is a good thing but when you're heart is to serve and lead, you want nothing more than to get back to work!! although there will be so many nights of being lazy and relaxing by the fire with Bart, this will be one of the busiest winters we've had in a few years. im ready for it all! until next time..

BENCH WARMER

so last week i was so excited and pumped about our two games that were coming up on Saturday. i thought about the games all day and then practically dreamed about them at night. i just had a feeling they were gonna be some of my best games ever! the first game started and we were the visiting team so we were up to bat first. i was third at bat. standing in the on deck circle i was swinging away as i pondered the ball making that perfect connection to the bat hitting that sweet spot that will make you want to cry tears of joy. finally it was my time to shine. i stepped into the batters box as i took my sweet time making sure i was completely ready for the 1st pitch that i was gonna crush! i looked straight at the pitcher and with a little fear in her eye she finally released the pitch. i swung the bat like it was my last swing ever and never even looked at where the ball was sailing off too as i started my race to 1st base. i knew i hit the ball hard and far enough to make it to 1st so i ran with no worries until suddenly it was all down hill. i felt a pain that is like no other in my right leg just below my calve muscle. it was as if my ankle had seperated from my leg and i could'nt take another step. how could this happen again? it was the same injury i suffered over the summer but a different leg. i was so bummed. the pain was unbareable but to have to miss out on 2 games that night was just unimaginable! i was suddenly a benchwarmer. i'll be out another week but thankfully this weekends games are postponed because of Halloween so i won't have to sit the bench any more. until next time...

MUSTACHE LADY?

ok ok i know you guys are all gonna think i'm an un-sensitive horrible person for blogging about this but i just gotta! so im sitting here at work doing my usual duties (checking e-mails, reading the news and of course checking out USMAGAZINE.COM to see the latest celebrity gossip) and through the door walks in a man to get his vehicle smogged. at first i paid no attention to the details of this person until i began asking questions about his name, address, phone # etc. once he said his name was Cathlene i realized he was not a he but a she. i kid you not, he/she had a thicker mustache than Dr. Phil. she made Bert Reynolds look like a 13 yr old boy who was trying to grow in that 1st strand of hair on his upper lip! He was a very nice lady and i hope he has a great day... (even though his/her vehicle failed smog.) oh well. until next time...

Facing Your Giants Kick Off...

so tonight was "kick off" night for the Facing Your Giants season at church. Every Sunday night will be Sunday Football night. everyone wears their favorite team jersey and we have music then a different speaker will speak every Sunday night for the next couple months. tonight was cool. im looking forward to hearing all the other speakers! until next time...

Saturday Morning Breakfast...

i love lazy Saturday mornings. this morning me and Bart rolled out of bed and decided to go out to breakfast. neither of us wanted to take showers and i didnt want to put make-up on or anything. we threw on some mis-matched clothes and i put on a hat and off we went. we drove way out of our way to this little greasy, dirty restaurant. we could hardly read the menu because they were so dirty. pretty gross i know! believe me though, the way me and Bart looked, we fit right in! we sat and made fun of the place and all the weirdo's that were there. this one guy sitting a couple booths down had a severe cough that made my pancakes stand up! i must say though, me and bart had lots of fun together and honestly, the food was delicious!! thank you to all the greasy, dirty restaurants who are still standing strong! until next time...

WE WON! so i probably would'nt be posting this if we had lost last night. i try not talk about the games we lose cause for 1 im embarassed and 2 i hate losing and want to forget the whole game even happened! so, again WE WON! last night was fun. our tuesday night city team is sponsored by Dobbs Realty (THANKS RAYMOND DOBBS). we have a lot of fun playing and we have a pretty good team i think. most of us have big mouths and get mad when we're losing but in the end we all love each other and wouldnt have it any other way. 2 weeks from now i'll be playing on saturday nights with my church. im excited about that too... i just love sports!! until next time...

THIS IS MY TEAM!

I LOVE THEM!

at work..

so im at work. for those of you who don't know, i work for Blue Ribbon Automotive as a secretary. pretty sweet job i must say. Chip Carroll is my boss. Coolest guy to work for...! i was hired about 2.5 years ago just to fill in while Rachelle had her baby. ya im STILL here! i can't complain though, all i do is talk to customers and talk on the phone.. or should i say answer phone calls. haha. of course now i can blog while im at work! some customers are well, "challenged" i guess... the phone rings and i say "good morning Blue Ribbon Auto how may i help you" and they say "is this Blue Ribbon Auto?" ummmmmm.. ya! not sure why i shared all that with you. today is pretty slow so far. Marcus, one of the guys i work with came in and talked to me all about health food. he really must not know me at all! im praying we get more work in here FAST so the guys will be too busy to lecture me on protien shakes, building muscle and other testostorone junk that i care nothing about! until then, i'll just smile and nod and say uh-huh! :) ok enough about all this work stuff....
until next time...

My 1st Blog!

so this is my first blog. i like reading everyone's blogs and thought i should join the blog club so i could be cool like everyone else. not real sure if i'll have anything interesting to say but we'll see as time goes on. so far i'm kinda like whatever. not really thinking of anything smart, funny or even interesting to say. wow am i really this borring? did i spell borring right? well for a monday night i guess i'm doing pretty good. i love nights like this. came home from work, took a shower, threw on some pj's and have been hangin' out with Bart on the couch ever since! i love it! have to admit though, i haven't really enjoyed monday night TV! Bart is watching some of his favorite shows and i pretty much think they're lame! Chuck! i just don't get it! and that other show, terminator the sarah conner chronicles... ya, im so not into those kinda shows! but if it makes my hubby happy, i'll SUFFER through it for one night i guess.. maybe this is why im blogging! cause these shows are borring. time out! how exactly do you spell borring??!! anyways, i think i'll wrap this up for now. maybe i can distract Bart from his shows for a minute.. :) nice talking to ya!
until next time...